Back from a game of golf or football, my wife has low expectations from what the lads and I talked about, for usually it’s fairly superficial stuff. Sometimes it gets deeper than what we’ve been doing or heard lately, and just having a laugh.
Last week I learned that more men than women complete suicide in Scotland and that 15 in every 100,000 people take their own life, compared to 7 in 100,000 in England & Wales (i.e. over double!). Apparently we have similar statistics to Slovenia, Australia & some Scandinavian countries. There are many complicating reasons why people might take their own life, but the inability to talk our feelings out with others is a huge one. It’s called ‘Low emotional intelligence’, something us blokes in particular suffer from, finding it hard talk about how we really feel. I see it in secondary school, football circles, & all around, a macho image, which prevents us from admitting weakness, showing vulnerability and asking for help when we need it.
Old age, experience of life, family love and God’s amazing Grace have helped get me more in touch with my feelings and given me more confidence to emotionally open up to others I trust. Indeed, when I manage to be vulnerable in preaching and sharing, people tend to open up more to God’s Love and ability to reach them where they hurt and are in need.
Sadly it often takes a crisis, like a suicide or the untimely death of a loved one, to get us blokes to uncover what’s eating us; though, the temptation is always strong to keep it all bottled inside. That’s where you ladies can teach us!
When my wife comes back from a night out with the girls it’s amazing the ground they’ve covered with their chinwags! I have to admit that, when it comes to ‘emotional intelligence’, you gals are Einsteins compared to us Cave men. Perhaps I’m being too harsh?
By the way, ‘Breathing Space’ is the name of a phone line for folk who are feeling down and perhaps contemplating suicide.
Check out their web site on http: www.breathingspace.uk.com
Minister
